challenged

They (bob, jillian, oprah) always say you have to figure out what is behind the weight. Emotionally. But I never could quite figure it out. I like food. I eat when I'm bored, stressed, blah blah blah. But I had a great upbringing. I'm not filling empty emotional holes with food.  So why do I eat junk I know is not good for me?

Then I finally had a breakthrough on one of my recent runs (where I always do my best thinking).

I have never been challenged.  

My childhood was fun. My parents spoiled me.  I didn't have chores. Schoolwork came easily to me. I never had to struggle much to keep my good grades. I don't like competition much, and I will usually be the first one to back down if something is too difficult or if I might fail.

But guess what?  I was chubby, shy and insecure. I wanted to be on the cheerleading team, the volleyball team, the basketball team.  But tennis and band were all I could do well enough.  I wanted to date the cute class VP, but an awkward boyfriend from a neighboring town would have to do.

I have never challenged myself to be better. Do better. Well I challenge myself NOW. I will lose the last 25 lbs. I will be a hot wife and a healthy mama for my kids. And I will run a 10k in June!

I managed to not sabotage myself this weekend and got in a total of SIX miles (3 Sat/3 Sun) plus two yesterday. Trying to take full advantage of this wonderful February weather!

I'll admit, I have mom guilt some days.  However Saturday when I came back from my run and found the kids marching up and down the hallway timing themselves to see how long they could go, I was reminded of the good example I was setting for them. So I went back out on Sunday for another run and didn't feel a tinge of guilt.

I am super happy with my weigh-in this morning. Down THREE pounds! I feel like I'm back on track and I'm ready to keep making those numbers go down!

   2013 wednesday weigh-ins

   Feb 6 [week 3]  172.2 (-3)

   Jan 30 [week 2] 175.2  (+1.2)

   Jan 23 [week 1] 174.0  (+3)

   Dec 2011 starting weight: 196

   Goal weight:  149

   Pounds lost:  23.8

   Pounds to go:  23.2

Riverfront Park. As close as I can get to running on the beach.

gameface

Today the scale does not reflect how I feel.  I feel stronger, leaner and more focused. I've made good food choices, drank a lot of water and worked out this week.  The problem could be that it's only the third day of the week and I bombed it this past weekend. Next week's weigh-in will be mucho better I promise!

   2013 wednesday weigh-ins

   Jan 23 [week 1] 174.0  (+3)

   Jan 30 [week 2] 175.2  (+1.2)

   Dec 2011 starting weight: 196

   Goal weight:  149

   Pounds lost:  20.8

   Pounds to go:  26.2

It's a heels, blazer, lipstick, fancy necklace day around here. That's right, gameface day at work. Some unspoken underlying feeling that stuff is happening and you need to be prepared for whatever comes your way. In the words of Kirsten Dunst, bring it on.

Happy Weigh-in Wednesday!

weigh-in wednesday #1

I'm going to start weighing in on wednesdays to stay on top of my weight loss. I've got to keep it top-of-mind or else the weeks slip by with no change.

Recap: Post-baby #2 starting weight on Dec 15, 2011 was 196. I lost 25 pounds in 2012 down to 171. Woot!

2013 GOAL: 149 lbs (!)  I've never really been in the 160s for longer than a hot minute. 149 sounds absurd in my head, but oh how awesome would that be!

   2013 wednesday weigh-ins

   Jan 23 [week 1] 174.0  (+3)

Up three pounds from December - eek! I'm feeling every pound of it too! It's been too dark and cold for me to run during the week and I've been in eating/hibernation mode.  But the new skinny jeans are not fitting. Time to break out of the funk!

I put this collage together several months ago of my two post-baby weight losses, and while it's encouraging to see the changes, it's also a kick in the booty because I'm still the same weight as I was in October 2012. Ready to break out of the 170s!

one year and 25 lbs

It's been about a year since I started getting serious again about losing weight.  I haven't checked in since September because, well, I haven't really lost more than a couple pounds since then. I've been ranging from 171-173 the last few weeks, but for posting purposes, we're going to go with 171 here.  :)

One-year check-in:

   starting weight (Dec 15, 2011): 196
   current weight: 171
   goal weight: 160
   pounds lost: 25
   pounds to go: 11

That's 25 lbs in a year!  Not super speedy, but I also don't plan on gaining any of that back since I lost it so slowly. Here's a fun little photo comparison.

Now I just need to maintain it through a holiday work lunch at yummy Italian restaurant, Christmas at mom's, and a ring of pecan kringle that's calling my name in my freezer. Then it'll be time to get back on the wagon to see what I can accomplish in 2013.

Rainy Monday Run

After consuming more food than one person should this weekend, I was determined to run a bit of it off this morning.  I woke up to drizzling rain and decided to go for it. It was the maiden voyage for my new Petzl Tikkina 2 Headlamp.  Surprisingly I felt less like a freight train than I thought I would with that light on my forehead.  It helped me dodge potholes and puddles, but the best part was knowing that cars could actually see me (always a good thing).  I didn't get as soaked as I thought I would, and as an added bonus: you run faster in the rain!  Two 10-minute miles in the books!

Freight train comin'!

My weight has been all over the place lately.  We're talking 4 pound fluctuation up, down, and back up.  This week my goal is to get it back down for good. I read a doc about not eating back your workout calories, so I am going to try that.  It makes sense really, and it abandons the notion that "I worked out, now I can eat what I want".  I am also going to lay off the wine this week and see if it helps (duh).

My Halloweenies

Halloween was such a fun day this year! It started off with a work lunch party, which included a scavenger hunt around downtown to come up with our own spooky story.  However we got a little sidetracked with a Tigger/Astronaut dance-off in the street (Tigger totally took this one.)

Our spooky story isn't much to repeat, but it did end with us tying up our building security guards.  Isn't it a bit worrisome that the only two security guards in our building agree to being tied up together by a bunch of characters on Halloween?  You just can't say no to Tigger.

I left work early to go to Big E's "book character party" at school (when was the last time you read a book about ninjas?)  It was cute to see him interact with his classmates.  I had a breakthrough realization about why he is so wound up and talking nonstop when he comes home from school.  I watched him in his class all tensed up while half of the other first graders are talking at him in full volume.  Like his mom and dad, he's not a large group type of person, so I could see it building up in him and then when he gets home he must let it all out.  I'll try to be more understanding now when he talks my ear off. I couldn't resist asking the three girls at his table if he was a nice boy, and they all answered with an easy YES!  [sidenote: parent-teacher conferences were last week. E is reading at the level he should be, is excelling in math, and his teacher said he was a excellent kid and a role model for the other students! So proud.]

Ok, back to the Halloween recap. Next it was time to go home and get everyone cleaned up and dressed for trick-or-treating.  Here is a shot of my Captain America and little zebra.

Miss Zebra only lasted about four houses before retiring to her stroller with a sucker.  The Captain forged on for an hour or so longer. 

Why no, that is not our neighborhood you see in the photo.  Yes, we are those people who drive to your nice neighborhood with sidewalks and streetlights and friendly homeowners who give handfuls of candy.We get busted each year by a mom of one of E's classmates who will inevitably say "I didn't realize you lived so close to us!"  Um yeah we don't. Thanks for the candy!

And finally, I thought it would be fun to see the kids side-by-side at the same age in their zebra costume (five years apart).  Aren't they cute?  And also a good reminder for mama to not gain those 25 lbs back!

Happy Halloween 2012!

Monday morning injury & a fence

To the driver who ran a Monday morning jogger off the road and didn't slow down after she fell: I hope you do a lot of good deeds today to make up for that!  Otherwise Karma's a sneaky b*tch.

Ugh. Yeah, so that's one way to start the week off.  The worst part was running the mile back home. This is where you earn your running badges, people.

Guess it's time to purchase that headlamp so I can see the side of the road when it's dark out. It's a good look, right?  I bought this blinky thing but it's not nearly as bright as I'd hoped.  The battery may be about dead, but not sure it's worth buying new button cells for it. Oh wells. I'll be looking like a coal miner on my upcoming runs!

----

This weekend we started our first farm project for the new house: a fence! If you want to build in the country, you gotta keep the cows out! 

Isn't it purty? Of course the hubs did most of the hard labor, but I helped hold the hole driller and wire the fence to the posts.  See the diagonal post in the middle?  Hubs just marched down to the creek and cut down a tree for that.  Love it! 

The land should be officially divided in late November, then it's time to start digging a hole!  We are planning on officially listing our house with a Realtor in January with an aggressive price and hopefully the timing will work out well for us. Big leaps of faith!

will run for wine

My toe numbness has disappeared for the time being.  After staying off of it for a week, it started to feel better. I met with a podiatrist and he said it was an inflamed nerve and to ice it after running. He also gave me some anti-inflammatory pills (which I haven't taken yet). "Inflamed nerve" sounds much better than the "damaged nerve" term I had in my head.  I've been on a few 3-mile runs since then and thankfully no issues so far!

I have been hovering around 173-174 for a month or more now (see - I told you this was my happy weight), and I'm ready to get down to the 160s.  That means...

• Healthy salads for lunch this week
• Run or 30 Day Shred each day
• Water, water, water!
• No wine.  Ha just kidding!  I'll run an extra couple miles for my wine!

-----

It's been a beautiful fall so far. Last weekend we tricked the kids into thinking we were going to a pumpkin patch and instead stopped by a winery. Ok, so we went to the pumpkin patch too. Gotta have something for everyone! I really love my little family.

september check-in

I've been keeping up my running schedule pretty well.  I try to run 2 miles 2-3 times through the week and 3 miles on the weekend. I set a new PR on distance and speed last week: 9:56 min on my first mile and ran a total 3.5 miles!  Usually I'm at a 10:30-11:30 pace, so I don't know what got into me!  Must be that cool fall air.

It is one thing to run on a straight road or trail with no real feeling of distance. It is quite another thing to run to your son's best friend's house three neighborhoods away and back.  It was only 1.3 miles each way, but it felt like I was so far away from home.  Thinking my watch must be off, I started to get a little anxious about it and turned back before I reached 1.5 miles out. Still a good run for mid-week and Ethan couldn't believe that I ran to his friend's house! He asked if he could come next time, and I told him when he can run around his school trail 12 times without stopping, he could run with me.  That should hold him for a while. (He of course can take his bike on my shorter runs.)

These last couple of pounds have been stubborn, but when I dropped down this morning, I thought I better put it in writing. 

Weight check-in:

   starting weight (Dec 15, 2011): 196
   current weight: 174.4
   goal weight: 160
   pounds lost: 21.6
   pounds to go: 14.4

I'm definitely at my comfortable weight. I have never known anything lower than this.  But I am still motivated to push myself into unknown territory.  I started my water weight cleanse again. I really missed it and it's so good for a re-jump start!

Bought this dress when I was 180 and it was quite snug.  Slipped it on this morning and have room to spare! Holler!

Sept 2012

Flashback! Nov 2011

new running shoes!



I've been wanting to get professionally fitted for running shoes for a while now, and thanks to a coupon I picked up at Race for the Cure, I discovered there is a Gary Gribble's in Independence!  I finally made it in last weekend and after some fittings, discovered my right foot is a half size larger than my left!  Who knew? I also have issues with getting blisters on my pinky toes, so I took the sales person's advice and got a half size larger than I usually do.  And ta-da! Here are my new running buddies!



 

Aren't they lovely? So lightweight and so much room for my tootsies! The sales guy showed me a fancy way of lacing up the shoe on my smaller foot so I don't have any slippage issues on my heel. I've been on two runs so far in my new shoes - 2 miles and 3 miles - and haven't had any issues with my pinky toes like before.  It feels a little strange having so much room up front, but I love them!  I'm starting to feel like a real runner now!  

 

Who doesn't want to run with a morning view like this?  Good morning, neighbor horses.

 

 

motivation

Here is my motivation to eat healthy foods (no junk)...

• because I could run every day and still not lose a pound unless I control my food intake.
• because I have more energy and feel better when I eat real foods!

to get up early and RUN...

• because running 30 minutes burns 300 calories and I usually drop a pound after 3 miles.
• because running makes me not want to drink diet soda.
• because my 10-year-old lab is like a puppy with all the exercise he gets.
• because I rarely get sick when I'm consistently working out.
• because by running in the morning, I am not missing out on family or couple time.
• because the average runner peaks after 7 years, and I'm still on my way up! 

and ultimately to lose 20-30 more pounds!

• to be a role model and healthy mom for my kids, and eventually a healthy grandma for my grandkids.
• to wear coral skinny jeans (or any color really, but definitely a single digit size.)
• to wear a bikini for the first time in public.
• to hear the hubs refer to me as his "hot wife." (I will also accept "arm candy" or "trophy wife.")
• to have more confidence. I wonder if I will still fumble over words as much when i'm not worried about someone's eyes dropping down to my belly roll?
• to get more doors opened for me (virtual and real-life doors.)
• to prove it to myself.

Weight check-in:

   starting weight (Dec 15, 2011): 196
   current weight: 177
   goal weight: 160
   pounds lost: 19
   pounds to go: 17

Over half way to my first goal!

water weight cleanse review

I've been on a summer hiatus from focusing on losing weight, and I decided I needed something to jumpstart my routine again.  I found a pin for Jillian Michael's water weight cleanse and decided it was something I could easily do.

Ingredients:
1 tablespoon of 100% cranberry juice
2 tablespoons of lemon juice
1 dandelion root tea bag (I'd make a mug of the tea and pour it in)
60 oz of water

Drink the entire concoction each day for 7 days, and you get to eat normal otherwise.  Easy peasy, right?  Here are my results!

Monday: 182 lbs. It actually tastes pretty good, kind of like a diluted lemon tea.  But I felt so water logged all day. Didn't know if I was going to be able to get it all down.  I'm definitely not used to drinking so much water. Ran 1.25 miles and made it through the day with sugar!

Tuesday: 179.8 lbs. Felt much better drinking the tea all day.  Didn't really feel like I "needed" my coffee as much as I usually do in the morning. Ran 1.75 miles. No sugar, but I overloaded on carbs for dinner with my yummy new Orzo recipe.

Wednesday: 179.6 lbs. Felt super energetic drinking my tea all day. Really didn't want my morning coffee and finished my 60 oz still wanting more.  Took a break from running and had filet and carrots for dinner!

Thursday: 179 lbs. (and 178.6 lbs after my 2 mile run! now there's a good reason to get your butt up and run!) Still loving my tea, but had a happy hour after work and ate french fries for dinner. Boo!

Friday: 179.4 lbs. Trying to shed the guilt of my happy hour fries and wine. Today is a new day!

Saturday: 178.8 lbs.  Woot! This is fantastic! Weekends are usually when I drink the least amount of water just because we're always out and about. I made it a point to fill up my 32 oz mug with the tea and take it with me. I finished my second mug when we got home. I had a carb-heavy dinner because I was running a 5k Sunday morning.  I need the energy!

Sunday: 181.2 lbs. The carbs had their way with me, but I had a good run. Feeling really good all day and actually left the tea out of the water.  Just drank cranberry & lemon water.  Worked my booty off cleaning the house and ate well most of the day.

Monday: 180.8 lbs. So overall I lost just over a pound.  Not as much as I had hoped, but I am taking a renewed love of water with me.  I splashed some lemon and cranberry in my water this morning and before I knew it I had drank 60 oz before 10 am. 

After reading the 5 reasons to drink lemon water in the morning, I think I'll keep up this habit for a while.  I do feel a lot better, less bloated, and I have a lot more energy throughout the day.  Haven't had a soda in over a week either - and don't miss it!

Race for the Cure 2012

end of summer check-in

While I did make my mini-goal of 180 by the time we went to Florida in May, I've just been maintaining over the summer.  Time to get my butt back in gear!  My new mini-goal is 170 by November for our New Orleans trip.

To jump-start and refocus my efforts, I am trying out a water weight cleanse. It's going well so far! I will type up a review after I've completed it.

Weight check-in:

  starting weight (Dec 15, 2011): 196
  current weight: 179
  goal weight: 160
  pounds lost: 17
  pounds to go: 19

Wow! I didn't realize I had lost as much as I did! Almost half-way to my major goal!

eating kid food

I've been trying a new tactic these last few weeks. Eating kid food.  No, not chicken nuggets and mac & cheese.  Kid-sized versions of healthy foods.  I still like the big momma sized versions for breakfast, but the kid versions are great for snacks.  Here are two I've tried so far.

Clif Kid Z Bar - 120 cal, 2.5 g fat, 3 g protein
[vs. Luna - 190 cal, 8 g fat, 9 g protein]

Chobani Champions - 100 cal, 1 g fat, 8 g protein
[vs. Chobani 6 oz - 140 cal, 0 g fat, 14 g protein]

Kids meals: Baby girl qualifies for a kid meal and it's usually more than she can eat (although she can eat the entire grilled chicken/cup of fruit kids meal from Chik-fil-A). If it's big enough and healthy enough, I can split her meal and maybe order a side salad.  I have only tried this once (at Mr. Goodsense) but plan on trying it again!  It's easier on the pocket book too. We don't eat out that often anymore, but 54th Street and Olive Garden would be great places for this trick!

[I have a whole other rant on kid's menus. Suprise restaurants! Not all kids love french fries and hamburgers! Both of mine happen to enjoy a nice filet of salmon with a side of grilled veggies.]

While I was shooting for 180 by the end of this month, I'm happy with my current weight.  I'm starting to fit into some size 14 pants. We'll save the 180 goal for our Florida family trip at the end of May. [Already getting anxiety over packing for all of us for a whole week. We drove to IL for two nights and filled the truck bed.]
 
April's weight check:
   starting weight (dec 15): 196 [sz 16/18]
   current weight: 184 [sz 14/16]
   goal weight: 160
   pounds lost: 12
   pounds to go: 24

mind games [march check-in]

Weight loss is a mind game.  If it is not on the forefront of your mind, it just doesn't happen.  Since our trip to Florida at the end of February (which I neglected to post about) weight loss hasn't been my top priority.  We also had a sick baby for a week, so that didn't help either.  I've still managed to lose a few pounds, but not as many as I'd hoped. 

weight check:
   starting weight (dec 15): 196
   current weight: 187
   goal weight: 160
   pounds lost: 9
   pounds to go: 27

Big E was my running buddy this weekend.  Well, I ran and he rode his bike, hollering from behind me "MOM YOU HAVE A WEDGIE!"  That's helpful son, thank you. 

I did a mile on Saturday and a mile and a half on Sunday.  I just needed to work back into it and Mr E's little legs don't take him much further than that.

I need to get back on track with the gym this week.  I think I've only been to kickboxing class two times this month.  No bueno.

On a positive note, my jeans are fitting better and I packed one pair away since they are too big.  (I'll donate them when I have more than one pair to give!)

Tomorrow is always a new day! My next mini-goal is to be 180 by the end of April for family photos!

january is the new spring

Hyacinth bulbs popping up, steaks on the grill, baseball out in the front yard.  I love spring.  Oh wait...

It's freaking January! 65 degrees in KC on January 31? This is crazy talk.

I've been taking advantage of this weird yet wonderful "winter" weather to go jogging with my big brown dog and trick-bike-riding boy. I made it back up to two miles pretty quickly.  I need to now push myself to go for three. I'm trying to decide on a 5k to run this spring.  Why is it neccessary to start these things at 6:30 am in May?  There's gotta be a 9 o'clock start time out there somewhere. Still searching. 

I did come across an obstacle race called Ruckus KC.  It's March 31 and looks like a muddy mess. But a muddy mess with afternoon start times!  I'm cool with everything except monkey bars.  I am not a monkey.  I cannot swing from my arms over a 10 foot drop into muddy water.  That kind of freaks me out.  But maybe I need to conquer my fears. And drag the hubs along for motivation.

Time for a weight check:
  current weight: 191
  starting weight (dec 15): 196
  goal weight: 160
  pounds lost: 5
  pounds to go: 31

I was stuck at 192 forever and then just had to kick it into high gear to finally get down to 191.  I've been taking Title Boxing classes about 3 times per week, running a couple times, walking over lunch and cutting way down on sugar.  It really is more about diet than anything though.  I've had some weak moments, but managed to stay pretty strong this week.

Looking forward to the 180s in the next week or two! I'm a little flabbergasted (or blubbergasted?) that I was 188 lbs at 30 weeks pregnant.  How was that possible?  I thought I was on such a great track to not have a lot of baby weight to worry about. Wrong-o. Those last 9-10 weeks are killer.

january check-in

ok, christmas/new years/luke's birthday were harder to get through than i thought they'd be without eating my weight in kringle.  but all that is behind us know (skipping right past the obvious "behind" puns).

so fresh year, fresh start.  that is the good thing about new years, new weeks, new days. always a fresh start the next morning.

i've been working out 3-4 times per week.  that's no problem - i actually enjoy it. it's the food. i enjoy it just as much. or maybe it's more just lack of self control.  i'll be doing good all day and then a coworker hands me three caramel-filled ice cream cones and before i know it there's only one cone left and i'm feeling a little jittery from all the sugar. did i want the cones? no, not at all. but there they were. just sitting there staring at me.  yep, no control whatsoever.

so that's what i will work on this week.  self control and eating with awareness and intention.

  starting weight (dec 15): 196
  current weight: 194
  goal weight: 160
  pounds lost: 2
  pounds to go: 34

it's time.

- holidays are almost over.

- emma is sleeping through the night. (hurray!)

- i have a little extra cash flow thanks to car getting paid off.  (HURRAY!)

- title boxing just opened nearby (and christmas came early in the form of a one-year membership from my own personal santa!)

- my hair is now long enough to fit into a ponytail.

sounds like the stars are aligning for me to get my butt in gear and drop this baby weight.

i know very well what a difference a year can make. my goal is to drop 30 lbs by this time next year.

(do they make a diet wine? well they should.)

this is the best "before" pic i could find (from Nov):

let's do this.

30 week check-in

baby girl and i are doing great!

i finally hit 188 lbs. this is significant because it was my wedding weight. pretty proud to say that i hit the same weight at 30 weeks pregnant. i only gained 3 lbs this month, and doc says i'm doing great with managing that. last time around i couldn't stand to eat salad or chicken and ate a ton of processed foods. this time i have a salad for lunch about 3 times per week and have pretty much lost my taste for processed foods and diet soda. sure i've had my fair share of ice cream and oreos, but all in moderation.

here are a few more comparisons between 1st and 2nd pregnancy...

1st: "are you excited?"
2nd: "is ethan excited?"

1st: hips hurt so badly i couldn't sleep
2nd: sleeping like a rock

1st: carried baby up so high it was hard to take a deep breath. baby also had lots of hiccups.
2nd: carrying baby so low i can barely make the morning drive without pulling over at a rest stop

1st: read the books and mostly followed the rules
2nd: not reading more that weekly vegetable size comparison (we're currently at cabbage). breaking the rules a bit with some sushi and a glass of wine once in a while. well, just breaking the american rules. i prefer to follow asian and european guidelines when it comes to food & drink.

1st: 50% excited/50% nervous
2nd: 90% excited/10% nervous

nine weeks to go if i schedule c-section (still a little up in the air, but likely will go that route). ready to get this show on the road!

old goals are new again

So my goal was to lose 10 pounds by my birthday. I've managed to gain two. New goal: lose 12 pounds by my birthday. This is it folks. I'll be damned if those Oreos that Luke insists he "needs" in order to stay on track for his weightloss are going to siderail my goals. No funeral, vacation, or glass(es) of wine will stand in my way this time. Spring has sprung and now Padre and I are running off our last 10 (or 12) pounds before summer. We managed a 9pm run tonight in the drizzle. Tomorrow's goal: lots of water, healthy eating (no soda or sweets) and kickboxing class.

My inspiration:

• being a healthy mommy and good example for E
• being a healthy partner for L
• making my dad proud (even still)
• new summer clothes
• feeling great physically and mentally

UPDATE: kickboxing teacher quit. Boo - I really liked that one. So I didn't have class, but still worked out on the machines for about 30 minutes. Hopefully there will be a new class soon!